Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 7

[skyhigh]

My story is very long and complicated, sometimes with my friends we are laughing about the fact I could write a book and make that story as a psychological thriller...

I don't know if I am in a good place but the place is much better than before for sure. I read everything I could find on MLC, most probably one of the best writer is Jon Conway (6 midlife crisis stages) and Hearts Blessing, their description of the different phases and what's going on in the mind of the MLCer helped a lot.

Also after I caught him last time (May 2016), I told him I was done without screaming and I went 180 and dark when necessary, the opposite of the first time (June 2015) (begging, asking him what I could do...) he understood he was in deep burning water, I turned down everything and made it clear I could just go to step 1 (not filing right away and no more marital relationship) but he had to cut all ties with other women and a few other things... I knew it was my chance to test if he was serious or not.

He used one of his friends' home for his "affairs", we had a dinner with that guy a few days later, I did a "targeted exposure" to that person (divorced because cheated on his wife numerous times), I refused to shake his hand in front of people and told my husband (in his ears) who thought I didn't know about that "tell your friend that I know how you used his home", both freaked out. It helped him to go back to reality pretty quickly no more thoughts "I have full control over my wife I can manipulate her the way I want, she won't go anywhere she will beg me anyway", guess what : game over. It shook him out of replay, and he went into depression/withdrawal. It was a "back to reality", La La land crashing, oh my gosh I messed up (he didn't say anything but I could tell he was worried about himself and the mess he was in. It was a beginning of another phase...

Don't expect him to acknowledge you because it's about control/power, by ignoring you he is showing you that he can play with your emotions, so GAL and detach. Most probably he is starting to notice some changes and it's something that bothers him.

And for snooping, as far it can give you info to be ahead of the game, why not, my principle is: acting is better than reacting. Sincerely I was hurt so much each time something dropped on me I rather have an idea to what to expect. We are already victims why we don't have the right to have some warnings...
You are so right not to try to interpret what he does or says because as they say, don't believe their words and just a tiny bit of what they do.

Take good care of you and your children, good night dear Sara.