Re: Just a Vanilla Change 33

[mustardseed]

V. Look back at that list you posted on page 8. Look at how much you have accomplished. There is always backsliding as we move forward.

This process is not magical--wake up one day and it is all put back in place. Nothing that matters and is lasting is.

I know for me, change starts off with me all gung ho--full throttle ahead. Then I start to fade. Then I hit a bump that completely resets me and I shut down. Give up.

It wasn't until I learned that the fading and slip ups are not failures. They are natural occurances that are unavoidable. Life is hectic and messy and varied with highs, lows, and hum drum moments.

I have come to measure my progress by seeing how I am able to handle my recovery from those dark times. The inspired times are easy--no brainers--can't put too much weight on those successes. The dark times are unavoidable--out of our control most of the time--so the best we can do is ride them out and trust that their will be light again. Can't dwell on missteps that might occur during this time because as I said before, it is impossible to be perfect in imperfect situations.

But when you are coming out of the dark, or even when you are coming down from the high--those are the times that show your real progress. After you give yourself a moment for rest and healing, do you have the ability to put one foot in front and leave the darkness behind? Is it happening easier after each dark moment than it did before? Are old obstacles now feeling like inconveniences and no longer really distractions? When you are coming down from a high and feel your energy starting to fade, do are you able to shift gears and lower your expectations for yourself to suit your frame of mind?

I am finding that my ability to shift those gears smoothly has really improved a lot over this process. My highs are still as high, my lows can still be as low, but my responses have become far more efficient. That is where the progress can be found--and when you look back at where you started the progress is obvious.