I know what you mean - last year I was truly shell shocked ... had just buried my Godmother, signed a p&s on our home, just wanted to keep things as normal as possible for my son. Normal, makes me laugh. How normal can it be when one of your parents has gone off the deep end? Still, we do our best for our children. Not many exemplify that more than you, mon ami.
This year is more difficult in some ways for me also, and in others a bit easier ... I know what you mean about missing the partner. I"m glad you made the coffee for her and said a prayer. Every Christmas Eve we go to Mass with dear friends, then spend the evening at their house. I couldn't face it last year. My son and I decided to join them this year. There was someone missing, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My friend and her family are so warm and loving, I feel like I'm part of the group and there was a lot of joy and laughter.
This morning was a different story. It's ok. We will all get through this. As you said, feel it and let it go. Say a prayer for them and cherish what we do have xoxoxo Joyeux Noel, Irish!
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}