The Fight For Self Forever

[CT1118]

Wish I had time to read them all, but I do not. So I am offering some open ended advice here to those arrived and those who seek to be awakened. I have learned this in my time here and my time alone, so this is at least the truth of me and what I got from all things here - you gotta fight all hell and you don't stop until you get to the victory of daylight.

What I believe most do in these situations is self-justify, cut and run, blame, and/or abandon in the name of the other being wrong. What is not realized is that going through, or rather, fighting Hell for someone else is really a fight of self - - and the battlefield is inside you.

The cold irrationality of dealing with a loved one who is a victim of abuse, stress, boredom, mid-life, bad parents, or anything else emotional or physical, is going to be the truest test of who you are as a person. A test you may not be strong enough for, patient enough for, or confident enough for. And why do so many break or quit, why is that society's go-to? Because this is a war of one, and that one is you; this scares the sht out of most of us. You will not be a martyr, you will not be a self-sacrifice, you will not be rescued. No, what you will do is face yourself down. Question who you are and how you got this way. Question how you got here and then how you really got here. Question what happened to your goals, your dreams, and I mean the ones that belonged to you - not "us". Question what you believed to be the truth, to be the just, and to be tangible in this world. All you were taught to expect has just been proven false. "And the dish ran away with the spoon" - you can look that lyric up if you want, it matters to this paragraph.

To fight Hell, you must be prepared to dismantle yourself. You must let go of yourself. You must review your own abuse, shortcomings, faults, and fallibilities. You must stare stare fear, anger, and ego in the face each day; sometimes you blink. But if you can acknowledge who you have been, how you got there, and where you want to be, you can develop new strategies. You begin to lovingly detach from the other person, you begin to wake up, you begin to believe in what you can do and what you want as an individual. You begin to see victory on the horizon. You become deliberate in living for you. This is if you make it this far, it is not a fight for the weak of character.

And how does a fight for Hell assist the one you thought you began this fight for? Because the truth of love, real & honest love, is that one must know and love themselves to mentally and emotionally fit enough to love another. But we marry young or we marry when unresolved of another or we marry wrong. This is a battle that is long, it is painful, and it will deprecate your heart, mind, and soul if you allow it; allow it by spying, allow it by obsession, allow it by convention. But hopefully, in the end, you come out to be the person you never felt brave enough to be. This fight is not forget and move on or forgo and move out , this is forgive and move into - move into self.

Damage was done, but dmn if you can't grow, you can't accept, and you can't be. You can. The love of your life looks like you and you alone. You gotta get you first before you get to others. Only then will you present a package that others can be proud of and proud to stand beside. You do this and victory looks like daylight, Hell is in retreat. The Fight For Self is absolution. You gotta be all in for the fight for you, you do this and you are free, oh so free. Now get some you.