I'm sorry Phoebe (((((hugs))))) and it isn't surprising that the festive season is tugging at you. BD for me was in the summer and that Xmas, I just did not want Xmas to be happening - AT ALL! I averted my eyes from every sign of Xmas, turned off Xmas music - everything.

I actually spent a pleasant Xmas day with Mum, Dad and a couple of their friends. And two years on my memories of that day are good ones. I also feel quite settled and even about it being Xmas this year, so please don't feel it will be this way for ever.

Just do what you can this Xmas and don't worry about the things you don't feel up to. The festive season will pass and life will move forward again Sweetie.

Keep posting and do take care my friend xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus