New ILYBANILWY

[Dawgs]

Their actions are their choices - as you know - we can only control how we respond but that gives me strength - I recently was in discussion with my W about another friend who was going through a messy D and I said that the WAS actions only reflect themselves - poor choices and behaviour makes them look very poor - I noticed my W changed her behaviour since then and has been more pleasant - doesn't change the sitch but it can affect how she interacts as she sees how it has worked out for our friend.

Not many of us LBS's come to that conclusion only after we've been on this road to hell for quite some time. And many of us beat ourselves up with the "what ifs" - something I'm guilty of myself.

I wonder if that behavior change is window dressing for you...

2017 - she will announce a date of depearture, tell kids, tell family - she will see that as her time to do as she pleases -

Most definitely living in her own world and on her own path.

will be stable and focussed and enjoy my life and build it how I want it.....one day at a time. Door will be left open for her to talk etc

Very healthy attitude to have. It will be at a snail's pace, but it will happen. All too often LBS's jump to thinking that they are OK only to have it come crashing down around them. One day at a time. I like that. And it's OK to leave the door open - leaving it open and holding it open for them are two different things. I'm leaving it open for mine, even though I know she won't take it, but it's open nonetheless.

[Bman72]

Just near the end of a beautiful family holiday - my WAW and my two young sons. No work pressure, no running around or daily grind - just time together. It has made a difference seeing her relaxing ....her whole demeanour has changed back to my lovely wife. I know this won't change things significantly but if it just allows her a glimpse of how things could be then that may be a start for a long term Change of momentum. After all the negativity and stress over the last six months , this has been wonderful. I know she still plans to leave , I am well
Aware of the reality but just being thankful for a high point on this roller coaster ride and using it as a chance to refresh and enjoy it.

[Bman72]

Thanks Jeep - it will be a veeeeeeery slow pace - I feel like I am standing at the front of a freight train and am trying to stop it just by using my feet and leaning against it - but it is still a very small change in momentum each day - some days it is good and some are terrible but I'll keep trying but I will keep working at doing it from a position of quiet confidence within myself that I can change for the better and if she doesn't value that then I will still be ok. Still hurts a lot though - even when I am at my strongest I still have my down days....like we all do.

[Cristy]

2017 - she will announce a date of depearture, tell kids, tell family - she will see that as her time to do as she pleases - I will be stable and focussed and enjoy my life and build it how I want it.....one day at a time. Door will be left open for her to talk etc.

Hello Bman72,

Be very cautious regarding telling the kids and other family members. Michele has an excellent article about telling the kids. Please email me directly and I will be happy to send it to you at no charge.

The best advice I can give you is to call a Divorce Busting Coach today. Many of your online friends will agree that Divorce Busting coaches will give you the best advice on how to save your marriage and keep your family together. Please call me to discuss our coaching program 303-444-7004

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004