That's me in the spotlight

[Coly23]

Hey Altair, first of all I am so sorry about your health scare. I pray that everything turns out okay.

Secondly, i am going to give you a very soft, fluffy 2x4 here because you don't deserve anything too harsh at the moment. I don't generally give them out but I'm feeling generous as its Christmas! Where in DR does it say that you should take and validate someone who is being insensitive, angry and attacking you personally when you have just told them some devastating personal news? There is a time and a place to validate and IMHO I'm not sure this was it. You reached out to him for support as he is still your husband however he has not provided that to you whether he is capable of it or not and it has left you empty and sad. You are not a doormat!

It may have been that he was concerned that you didn't do enough with regards to the results and pushing for more tests but from his reaction his empathy tanks seems to be empty. Same with my H. IMHO you didn't do the wrong thing by contacting him, you just expected the old H to be there on the other end of the phone. New H spent 20 minutes talking about himself again when it should have been all about you. Job is right, leave him be he still isn't ready. Let him reflect and stew on his reaction to your news especially as that was the first time you had spoken for months. I bet he won't feel so good about himself when he thinks back over the conversation.

Maybe next time drop him an e-mail with any updates and tell him you are only doing so as he is your next of kin. Then go and find or ring a friend who you can lean on and or provide you with all the emotional support you need.

(((Altair))), you didn't deserve any of that in your hour of need but your H isn't in a place where he can provide you with the emotional support that you were looking for.

I wish you a peaceful Christmas and I hope the New Year brings you health, love and happiness. Xx