[BrightFuture]

Irish, thanks for stopping by and for recognizing my new name , even though I cannot change it. There seems to be new restrictions on names now, they can have no more than 7 characters. So, I will not be able to change to BrightNow .

You are right, H is probably the nicest MLCer around... Maybe because we just don't talk much and rarely see each other, LOL.

Job, thank you for you thoughtful post and for your understanding. You described my "foot struggle" perfectly! And this is exactly what I've been doing, putting my bad foot first when go downstairs (when my dog goes downstairs with me he does the same thing, one foot at the time, so funny), and putting my good foot first when I go upstairs. I do have running shoes, and this what I've wearing for a few days now.

Sotto and HaWho, thank you for your kind words.

Sotto, the lipstick incident recovery has been slow, but I feel I like was almost there when H showed up.

HaWho, I'm wishing you the best in 2017 as well!


So, like I said, the set back after the lipstick thing was longer than I expected. I think my foot injury, and that it happened before the holidays, contributed into that big time. I was feeling sad and depressed around the Thanksgiving. Not that anyone noticed, I kept it to myself. After H's visit I was determined to put it behind me and keep moving on.

As for H not looking into my eyes... I thought we were past that. He seemed to be more comfortable last year. It was me who was not looking directly to him all the time, but I think he did look at me when we talked. It seems like last year he was more sure of himself and what he did. Does it mean that this year is starting to wake up and realize the thins he did? Maybe starting to feel more regret, even though he is not showing it?

I drove to the vacation home yesterday. It was raining almost all the way to the border, so it was bit stressful, but I made it here safely. When I arrived, I called my mutual friends and they told me that they were having dinner at other friends' house (the same friends who are going to host a Christmas day dinner), and... sure enough... H was there... Speaking about no more "incidents" and set backs... He stayed the entire evening. We were all talking, sometimes having multiple conversation, so I didn't hear everything H said during the evening. But, there were a few conversations (brought up by the friends) that involved both of us. For example, the friend asked about how old my dog was and then turned to H and asked him "how old was the dog when you guys got him?". H's response started with "we got him when..." . Then there were a few more events that were remembered pre BD, and there were a few more instances when H said "we"... If somebody who didn't know our story would be listening to the conversation, they would have no idea that we are separated. Unreal! It also seemed that our friends deliberately were choosing the topics that involved both of us...

Like I said, H stayed for the entire evening. My mutual friends' kid was running around and being nosy and distractive, and I kept waiting for H to get annoyed, and get up and bail out (he doesn't tolerate little kids very much), but he stayed put.

So, today, I've been trying to process this in a "healthy" way, LOL. Meaning, still staying the course and not trying to get my hopes up again. Not sure if there will be more interactions in the next few days... Wish me luck.