Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 6)

[ForGump]

My point is though, that my wife's personality is ... something that's been there all her life. That makes it particularly difficult and unlikely to change.

I'd guess that, despite the seriousness of her current problem w/ your marriage, her issue isn't a lifelong one.... which gives some hope. Maybe not for your marriage, but maybe at some point she'll turn things around.