You are still wondering if your W has something real going on w/ the 22 year old.
la-la land: noun \ˈlä-ˌlä-\: a euphoric dreamlike mental state detached from the harsher realities of life
Your wife is in serious la-la land, Gordie. Her feelings are real, but she doesn't have a firm grasp on reality. Don't buy into any of her delusions.
About the child custody issue: you are perpetuating the unhealthy arrangement that go your marriage in trouble in the first place. She's going to keep calling all the shots, you accommodate and enable, and in the end she points the finger at you for not being adequate. She wants to have the fantasy of being independent while eating cake all day long, financially, emotionally, and sexually. If you had a 22 year old child graduate from college, who took advantage of all the freedom given to an adult -- sex, alcohol, whatever -- who reveled in being an independent adult ... and he said I'll do this as long as you support me financially and take care of all my needs, what would you say? That's what your wife is asking for: I'm going to enjoy all the freedom of a single, independent woman, AS LONG AS you support me in every major way. It's nonsense. Her wanting to stay, basically, a SAHM is part and parcel of that nonsense fantasy.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final