Glad you had a good trip!! Who knows what she wanted! You did good by not responding after you found she called. If it was important a message or text could have been sent. My wife randomly does or did the same thing.
nothing new nygal. no word after that random call. all quiet on the western front.
but on the GAL side I think I'm making pretty good friends with the new co-worker. Things are as always going well with my roommate and the family there. All is pretty good for now. Going to enjoy the "up" and hope the "down" isn't so far down.
Something that's been on my mind, W's birthday the first week of Jan...I decided depending on how I feel, I may shoot a text, maybe a call or maybe act as if it's just another day (as I did with our W anniversary) I don't know. But If I do call or text or not say a word it'll be for Cheesy and not because "she'll be upset If I don't call or text" This is strictly for me and my well-being. nothing to do with her.
W texted me last night, to remind me to pay my half of the cell bill. (mind you she'd used my cc to pay my half for the past 8 months) I did not reply. This morning she texted the same text. I don't have any login information (though it is my acct) so I just called.
I'm starting to believe the longer the time between us or space between us the less likely we are to get back together. Do I want to? I think so. I'm not 100% sure but I'd like to give us a shot. I guess I have been thinking a lot about that "path" lately. I don't see a path for us. I don't see myself as light house any longer because we do not speak.
I've recently acquired this attitude of "no you don't get a reply from me when you're with SOW" or something very similar. anger perhaps? that she's not reaching out to me or temp checking me? as with the cell phone bill. I don't see a need to reply.
I want her in or out of my life. I'm ready to carry on with my life. I want to move forward with or without her. I just wish she'd hurry up and serve me with D papers or come back and make it work. -this is the very impatient cheesyt speaking.
I guess I just don't know what direction to take regarding W, if anything at all. I've been doing the "do nothing" it's not getting me anywhere. Not that I did it for it to get me anywhere in particular, it's just the easiest and best option for my well-being right now.
-is there a magic road? i'd be interested in traveling it
Sounds like we are just about at the same point in our situations!!
I wish I had an answer for us. It's hard knowing what the right thing to do is. I guess others will continue to say just to work on ourselves. The doing nothing is actually probably helping "ourselves" more than we realize.....
I'm starting to believe the longer the time between us or space between us the less likely we are to get back together. Do I want to? I think so. I'm not 100% sure but I'd like to give us a shot. I guess I have been thinking a lot about that "path" lately. I don't see a path for us. I don't see myself as light house any longer because we do not speak.
I've been there, and depending on the day/moment I still do. I think it is hard to see working things out when our spouses don't even reach out.
Originally Posted By: cheesyt
I want her in or out of my life. I'm ready to carry on with my life. I want to move forward with or without her. I just wish she'd hurry up and serve me with D papers or come back and make it work. -this is the very impatient cheesyt speaking.
That's how I felt, in or out. I think that is fair to feel that way, cheesyt, so I don't know if that makes you impatient as much as you are just human. I think we all deserve enough respect for us to expect someone to either be in our lives or leave fully.
Originally Posted By: cheesyt
I guess I just don't know what direction to take regarding W, if anything at all. I've been doing the "do nothing" it's not getting me anywhere. Not that I did it for it to get me anywhere in particular, it's just the easiest and best option for my well-being right now.
Yes, take care of cheesyt first! You have to, but I know that the limbo has to stink. Thinking of you, I hope it keeps getting better for you, and I hope your W figures out for sure if she wants in or out.
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
well I dreamt of wife this morning. something about R. most of my dreams are about R. one thing that struck me was that W (in my dream) asked If I wanted to R why I stopped replying to her texts and calls and went "dark" I guess this is something that's eating at me. Of course I want to answer, of course I want to reply. But it does ME no good.
had a great GAL activity last night. last minute happy hour with co-workers. It was really nice! We all had a busy day so it was pretty perfect. Hanging and laughing was so good for me. I did notice and made a mental note I laughed a lot. (one of the things my W loved about me was my laugh) Laughing is nice. We spoke about new years and getting together at someone's house. I'm looking forward to whatever comes of it.
headed home for Xmas later today. I'm going into this with a positive mind. I'm excited to see my niece. We found out that my sister is having another girl. With these past good days, I'm very hopeful of not completely losing my s!it over this holiday.
well I dreamt of wife this morning. something about R. most of my dreams are about R. one thing that struck me was that W (in my dream) asked If I wanted to R why I stopped replying to her texts and calls and went "dark" I guess this is something that's eating at me. Of course I want to answer, of course I want to reply. But it does ME no good.
Wednesday morning, I had a dream that my boss (a woman) kissed me on the forehead. I like her, but I don't have any feelings for her - really. Now I feel awkward around her. I'm going to ask her what the h3ll she was thinking when she kissed me on the forehead. That's just weird.
Have a great Xmas! You won't lose your sh*t over the holiday. If you begin to have any not-so-good feelings, just think about poor doodler feeling awkward around his boss. That should snap you out of the funk.
had an amazing Xmas. though I was happy to not have to "deal" with W and D. (all the kids being kids with D and translating for W) I miss them terribly. Also, no one to share the special moments of being Aunts and such. I texted W a picture of the cable companies email of her refund being initiated on Monday. not a word back. and not a word for Xmas either. Though I didn't expect it.
Can't help but to wonder if Xmas was better with SOW. also, wondering if this lack of communication with W will make her not miss me or be even more OK without me. Yes I was wrong last time, but still a possibility that this time, she really is / thinks she is better off without me.
as always, I wish there were something I could do to better or different to bring W back, but I know there isnt.
