well I dreamt of wife this morning. something about R. most of my dreams are about R. one thing that struck me was that W (in my dream) asked If I wanted to R why I stopped replying to her texts and calls and went "dark" I guess this is something that's eating at me. Of course I want to answer, of course I want to reply. But it does ME no good.
had a great GAL activity last night. last minute happy hour with co-workers. It was really nice! We all had a busy day so it was pretty perfect. Hanging and laughing was so good for me. I did notice and made a mental note I laughed a lot. (one of the things my W loved about me was my laugh) Laughing is nice. We spoke about new years and getting together at someone's house. I'm looking forward to whatever comes of it.
headed home for Xmas later today. I'm going into this with a positive mind. I'm excited to see my niece. We found out that my sister is having another girl. With these past good days, I'm very hopeful of not completely losing my s!it over this holiday.
