MLC W and preparing for S or D in the new year

[Gordie]

Prior threads:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2719422#Post2719422

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2721485&page=1

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=11&page=1

Wow, I can't believe I'm on my fourth thread. Thanks to all for joining me on this painful journey. For those new to the story:

W 42 and I 42 have been married 20 years, 5 kids.
2011-2016 After baby #5, W starts changing everything about her life: appearance, friends, religious beliefs, doesn't want to be a SAHM anymore, starts a business
September BD: I don't want to be married any more.
October: I am in love with you and POM (age 22, works for my W).
November: W consults with a L and starts making plans for S or D for after Christmas

So I'm starting off this thread with questions I have about Sandi's rules. The rules have been extraordinarily helpful to me and been a great reminder of some of the things not to do (chase, initiate relationship talks, etc.). I know these are more like guidelines than rules, so wanted your opinions on the ones I haven't been following:

9. Not scheduling dates - we have had a weekly date night for years; we are still doing these; and think these continue to be good times for us...

11. Not saying ILY - W still says ILY to me and I still say ILY to her...almost every day...

15. Don't be overly talkative - W and I are still quite talkative, most days...not R stuff, but just about everything else...

17. "Make your partner think that you have had an awakening and...you are moving on with your life..." ...not sure how to do this...short of rushing the S or D proceedings...help!

19. Do not be cold - I think when I try to detach, it comes across as cold...need to improve here...how to detach and be warm?

20. Hold off on M talks - I don't initiate, but my W does want to talk about our M at least once or twice a week