OFP -> Unstuck -> On with life

[Deckard]

Hey OFP, I appreciate the responses. I’m not trying to make you defensive. I’m concerned about the anger I read in your posts and want to help the process move from anger and get closer to acceptance because that will be what is best for you in the long term IMHO. And I have been, and at time can still go, there to that angry place.

You wrote that you don’t want your XW back and you wouldn’t mind if she didn’t exist. Ok. You also wrote

My beliefs are that M is something you work on and stick to, not something you bail on because the grass appears greener on the other side.

And

Now my kids have to go through that for many years to come.... it is wrong, in so many ways.... it isn't what is best for the kids, it is what is best for xW to have "fun," and that's all that matters to her at this point in her life.

Does this mean you don’t think you and XW should have D? Or is it that XW should have tried harder before the D to make it work?
There is more in the post that I’d like to visit, but the above will help with that.

I want to revisit something else from my previous post because it isn’t obvious to me how it was addressed in your response.

Not to use against her, but to make me feel like I actually have some control over my life, like I actually have a choice.

I'm confused by this. What control and choice do you not have?

OFP, don’t think I don’t feel your pain. “I have no job (been there), no money (yup), and can't replace this stuff I have taken years to accumulate for my kids (typing this in my empty house). She wants to make sure she can provide more for them than I can, to play the "favorite parent" game.” They have yet to make something for a kid that is more important than a parent that is there for them, talks to them, loves them unconditionally and guides them through life. Don’t worry about playing that game.