Its been more than two months since my last post and the only noticeable change is my weight. Down another 10 pounds.
I need help. I know a divorce busting no no is initiating relationship or marriage discussions. How long can I wait? All relationship discussions in the past have always been started by me.
The most memorable one being when the bomb was dropped. I knew there was something wrong and I had to pry it out of her. I do not want this marriage to end although right now we are only married on paper. We still share the same bed, all talks have been cordial but no mention of where our marriage stands or any relationship talk at all.
It is my belief that she wants me to look like the bad guy in the eyes of the children. Either by packing up and leaving or kicking her out.
At this time of year neither of us want to disrupt the holidays, and ruin it for the children but I am at my wits end.
Is it time for me to finally stand my ground. I look back our second to last discussion back in June. It wasn't actually a discussion. More of a statement from me stating I am not leaving the house no matter what. I said you want to end it then leave.
Later she asked if I wanted her to move out. I was honest and said no. I regret saying that sometimes, only because I am in the same position I was in when the bomb was dropped.
I see improvement in myself both physically and mentally. Emotionally I am a wreck but I have not displayed this part of me. These emotions have been internalized. I am being strong on the outside. I got a life. I play hockey every chance I get but its difficult finding time now due to busy hockey schedules for my boys.
Evenings when we are both home consist with the W on one couch busy on face book with her IPAD and me on the other waiting for her to talk. It never happens. There is small talk about our days, our upcoming work schedules or the boys.
Just as it took time for the marriage to be in this state, I know it can not be fixed over night. How can it ever get fixed if we never discuss the issues.
At this time I could use some advice
Merry Christmas everyone
Don't count the days, make the days count. Mohammad Ali
