Hanging and hoping- seperation edition

[BillyHo]

Last night was the first night that W slept at her house and she had the boys with her. I got done work yesterday and most of her stuff was gone. I knew she was going to have to finish moving this week but seeing the bare spaces where her stuff used to be really hit home for me. I went to my IC and had a good session. We focused mainly on me and what I'm going to do to GAL. After that I went out and did some shopping.

When I got home I moved some furniture to the living room to replace some of the gaps she left behind. I did some decorating then settled in for the evening. As I was sitting there it was unbearably quiet.I am so used to my boys yelling, wrestling and just being boys. I hated that I couldn't tuck them in and kiss them good night. I wanted so badly to call W and tell them goodnight but I decided that once she left I would let her have all the space in the world. It's so much harder for her to be gone considering the fact that we've been getting along well for the last 3 weeks. I wish I could be angry with her because it would maybe make it easier to deal with but I just don't feel that.

I have the boys tonight and I can't wait to see them and hug all 3 of them. I think if I do get angry it will be over the fact that she is taking half father son time from me. No matter what happens I can never get that back. On the other hand she will have to feel that loss as well and she loves those boys just as much as I do. This holiday will be hard but I will get through it and continue to be the best man and dad I can be.