Don - I was vague and lied about some of the logistics on my description.
My first thought to what you wrote was to question whether I was fair in how I am representing ex to all of you guys and people IRL. Am I now villifying him? If he was to write about me, would I come across as manipulative, selfish, a bully? Am I angry and harping on everything he does ? Is my perspective off? Quite possibly.
But I think he is manipulative and he did goat and he comes across as a guy that was nagged so much by his wife and couldn't take it any more so left. That is how he painted it and I believed it. And still sometimes do. And then other times I am really mad at him, but in a super obsessed way.
He's different from a lot of the walkaways here. I never had proof of an affair. He DB'd me and words things in ways that make it seem like he is trying to avoid fights and keep me calm. When he wants a favor, he is suddenly nice and puts in little "lols" and texts more frequently asking how we are doing.
So either he is really good at it. Or maybe I'm just over reactive. But I wasn't imagining the things he said and did..and constantly go over it in my mind.
When we went to marriage counseling, my parents agreed to watch son so we could go. They liked to go out on weekends and asked that we make appts in morning so it didn't interfere with their plans. He woukd always insist on mid afternoon appts so he could sleep late. And he once said "let your parents watch him for once". And woukd get mad at me because I didn't want to ask my family often. (My parents do an enormous amount for my son)
Now there were a lot of scenarios like this, but they are not as easy to see as an affair is. And I am not sure if this was always there full blown and obvious like this. Or just before BD. So it still confuses me.
But yeah. Sometimes it's hard for me to really believe that his behavior is manipulative or vengeful or bullying. Because he acts so distant and detached and something I can't out my finger on still.
