I am sure your mom means well .... this is not her marriage. In order for a retreat to work out both parties have to be committed to the M and your W may just agree to go to get her MIL off her back. Keep the 'no expectations' mindset as you progress through this. I know you are relatively new but I just want to get you to pump the brakes a bit as she may just agree to go (half halfheartedly) in order to say to you and her self that she did all she can do and it continue her plan.
You need to continue to learn and apply the DB principles here, understand and get to the point that you realize its more for you which will have an impact on your M.
