Help - boundaries. Am I doing th ewrong thing?

[Woke_Up]

Woke_Up

If you check my latest post on my thread you will see how I take control of the spew. It's harder to do face to face when the kids are around.

It might help.

Surfer.

Thanks Surfer. I have read your most recent, and am now reading through your entire latest thread. I have not got back to your original thread yet.

Yes, face to face is hardest, and it usually happens face to face, often in front of kids. This has been a pattern throughout our R.

There are a lot of factors at play here and I will try and go into more historical detail a bit later. Suffice to say for now, she was raised in a very conflict driven and abusive household and I was raised in a conflict free household. To her, conflict is the norm, and to me it is the opposite and therefore I became very conflict averse, not knowing how to deal with it. Throughout my life, I see now, not just this R.

I have also read up on the drama triangle and ordered a couple of books from Amazon to help me. I think I am often rescuer and victim and W is often victim and persecutor. I am trying to work out how I can recognise these situations and break out of them.

Thanks again. I will update soon.