Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 6)

[JRuss]

Thanks, sandi. I apologize for getting angry with you. This has been such a draining, exhausting process. I appreciate all of your attempts to help. It is really hard to hear certain things, even if they are true.

Gump -- very well said. I daydream write letters like that in my head sometimes. Our Ws really seem like two peas in a pod: just sort of swallowed up in an encompassing ennui from which they think/hope someone will rescue them.

I continue to feel better about things than I would have anticipated. While certainly not doing backflips, I'm still feeling like there's less weight on my chest. I realized yesterday that I've actually been doing a lot of solo parenting (W was "stuck at work" most of the day yesterday as I managed the cat's euthanasia and my S10's (biblical level) grief) as things have deteriorated maritally. I find myself even thinking at times "I can pull this divorced dad thing off". I am really starting to like the idea of getting my own place eventually and putting my stamp on it (always deferred there). Right or wrong, my kids know who is pushing the D and who isn't, and that matters to me and frees me up a bit to think about myself some.