Can you tell us more about your H's behavior in past years? It would be very helpful if we knew more about the MR before anything with OM ever happened. Is your H acting out of character, or is his reaction pretty close to his usual behavior toward you when he's upset?
No, this is pretty close to his normal behavior when he's upset. Obviously we've never been in this situation before so its hard not to take what he says or how he acts to heart. In the past, I've just learned to walk away/leave the house for a little bit. Later on, I usually get a text when I'm still out apologizing for it. In this situation, I cant just "leave", but I have been walking away. Last night we were "talking" and he started saying things just to get to me. I walked away, went and took a shower and started going to bed. He came in and said "why are you mad? You don't get to be mad." I told him I don't mind talking to him, but if he's going to say things just to get to me, I'm not standing around listening to it. That kind of helped. He apologized and asked me to come back out and talk.
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For goodness sake, call your mother or anyone else you want (except some other guy). Stop behaving as though you are guilty of something, when you are not guilty. That is not transparency, and you are just digging your M grave deeper. Nobody should live their life the way are trying to do right now, and once you start......what happens when you stop? What will he think then? See what I mean?
Yes, I'm slowly getting this. Of course, in the beginning, I felt like I deserved whatever he said or did and had to prove myself. I was grasping for ways to do that. Things have "calmed down" some. I still check-in when I feel its necessary, but I'm not freaking out or going out of my way anymore to prove myself. I talk to my mom and best friend. He doesn't keep my phone on him anymore, mainly because he says he doesn't want to live like that...worrying and wondering all the time. Honestly, we've had our issues in the past and they've been no secret, so I think he's felt that reaching out to my mom or best friend, they were going to convince me that he "forced" me into doing what I did, which they haven't done. They've been very supportive of both of us without sugar coating things. I think that was the main reason for his freak out.
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Why would he go out to GAL and leave you home alone? You are home alone, stressed out, and sending him photos of the clock every half hour.....and instead of going to the house, he offers suggestions of how OM could have gone there?
He didn't want to go out to his work party that night. He had to for appearance sake since he's a manager. He also didn't want me at the party because he said it would ruin his night. I was kind of stuck in limbo because all of it was so fresh and I was in my desperate stage of trying to prove that I wasn't trying to contact this guy.
