it's good to know that I'm not alone, that others have been through very similar things, and have come out the other side.
None of us really get out of the other side unless we fully reconcile (past piecing).
I think I meant what you posted next - not that everything ends up rosy in the garden, but that you get through it a stronger and hopefully a better person, whatever the final outcome of the R.
Originally Posted By: surfer
Remember - keep calm, cool and no R talk/OM talk from you etc.
Doing my best. Last night was reasonably calm. I got home from work, and she was stressed out with illness and D, who was whingy & tired. Other than a couple of not so pleasant comments from her to start with (started criticising me for the way I was attempting to distract D from whining and get her settled), it was OK. I looked after D, got her ready for bed, read to her, and let the W escape downstairs to relax, take painkillers, do whatever she needed to.
Later we just talked downstairs a bit, mostly about if she should change her hair colour; the only possible source of conflict was her phone (she wants a new one as current one is playing up, but I said fine if she had the funds, but not to ask me to get involved with enabling her comms). Fortunately it didn't get out of hand, although she did say 'well I need it to be in touch with you as well' or words to that effect.
She even had me rub her back at one point, and said I was good at calming her.
Went to bed separately as usual, at a reasonable hour, but she still messaged me to check on D (who was in her room) when D was restless and making noise. I've pretty much done the night time duties, so it's not a problem, I always thought of it as 'my time' with D.
