Painter, I know the type of dynamic you are describing in which one parent (usually mom) controls all the parenting and critiques spouse for different parenting style. I am many things and have many flaws, but that's not me or my situation. I wanted a team dynamic and husbands involvement. I don't really comment or find fault in the way he is with my son. when my ex is with my son I trust that he will issue good parenting and judgement. The problem is more that he chooses not to be present.
Don. My husband physically left in Summer of 2015. Prior to that he was living in my parents basement for a year avoiding all of us. Its very true that it may be a bit early to start a relationship. I have all sorts of issues I'm coming to terms with. You make good points regarding meeting the needs of a new relationship. It is something I didn't think about. And it's brand new territory to me. New guy has expressed that he wants more time with me but is also quite accepting of my situation. Something I am honestly surprised about. I never really sought out a relationship or dating. It just sort of evolved via mutual friends. And I'm not sure. I appreciate how patient he is though. And he has never put me in a situation where I felt like I had to choose. I don't know what will happen as things get more serious. I suspect that he is very serious about me.
Rouky, (thanks for stopping by. I have to catch up with your thread) I dont think I'm really a fixer or saver. I think maybe ginger nailed it. I feel like by not taking son, I am a bad mother. I do have very bad anxiety, and i will start thinking out scenarios of something happening to my son that weekend and it being all my fault. It's the same reason I never question ex when he picks son up late or drops him off early. Maybe it's easily exploited. I know my ex took advantage of his mother for babysitting. Because she loved our son so much. My ex would get mad at my parents when they did not help with babysitting as well.
Im also fearful of him getting mad and not helping me if I needed to change days in the future. Its inevitable that at some point weekends will need to change and I worry that maybe he woukd make things difficult. But then again, I recently fractured my ankle and asked for help and he didn't help. (Although his mom helped 1 day)
