Maybe I am controlling at this point. She says she wants a strong, confident man that can take care of her. Maybe its me, or my upbringing, but I dont know many men that fit the description above that would be ok with their wife going out to a bar with single friends or alone 3 months after an affair.
I didnt care that she went out with friends prior to BD but now its every week. I guess that just isnt my definition of a good relationship, which we clearly dont have at this point.
I definitely played a role in our marital problems. I fight nasty. If you hurt me, I hurt you twice as much. Terrible quality that I have seriously worked on and changed.
I initially fell in love with her strength and personality. I still do believe I love her although I also believe a little bit more of that love dies daily. I think I also post here to vent too. The advice here is unbelievable, I truly value it. As I said before, I just have a little trouble implementing it.
I guess I am just truly to figure out what is left and what if any hope for rebuilding this marriage is possible. If I knew she was going to file in January, I would just let go.
