Another WW

[Last79]

Thanks for all the feedback all.

Yes I take responsibility for the portion of our marriage that was lacking. I may come across as not thinking her concerns are a big deal, but it's really me thinking that everything she says now are things we could really work on in a marriage. I don't think there are any issues we could not overcome. I now know from reading I have done since I could have been more supportive, and keep the spark alive by doing special things and dating. You get caught up in life and kids and think your too busy for that and it's not needed. Obviously it was for her.

And the other thing, was that we never had any serious conversations about her being that unhappy and we needed to work on some things. It was always just during an arguement something would come up about various things.

I am a very involved dad, so no issues there. And around the house I have always done all the outside stuff and take care of al the car maintance. I would hep around the house as needed, but she did do the most of it as she is home all day.

At times I was supportive. I encouraged to get out and meet some new friends with kids that still stayed at home but she refused saying she didn't need anymore friends. I never discouraged her from getting a job, just said I would rather her stay at home until the youngest would go to school but she could do what she wanted. She is not a push over so I have said since I found out about the affair that if you really want to go back to work you would have. I feel it's just an excuse cause she was never really vocal about it. She has been having an affair and unhappy for some time and she still had no plan on getting a job. You would think if she was so unhappy and wanted out she would at least figure out how to get a job.

And the final point, yes she had plenty time for girl time. She went out a lot with her girlfriends, apparently too much.