Not even married a year- hopeless?

[ForGump]

I'm just not sure when to talk to a lawyer. At what point do I actually move forward to divorce? It's so hard to know...

Recognizing that your marriage is already dead in many (all?) ways may help you decide on your next step.

Divorce laws/procedures vary quite a bit by state, so I suggest you simply educate yourself on how it would work if you were to go through with it. Search online. Some lawyers will do an initial consultation for free or for a minimal fee, just so you can learn how it works, and ask questions. Some states let you file yourself (i.e., "do-it-yourself"), depending on your situation/spouse.

As for contact w/ your H ... my recommendation would be to not initiate any contact. If he contacts you, respond in a kind tone, but don't cling, gush or nag. Let him know through your disposition that you are not going to let him make you feel awful any more. You are moving forward with your life. Marriage is a huge part of our lives, but you can still have a fulfilling day.