Your wife is having an affair and she'll find any reason possible to make it your fault that she's having the affair. You can't expect her to change anything or show appreciation and respect. You just have to focus on yourself and your children as you move forward.
Wise words, doodler.
Last79, doodler's right. They will spin things around and blame you for it. Some are so good they'll have you believing it was your fault...
They won't change or any of the like - why should they? Because to them, we simply don't exist outside of an annoyance.
I'll be the exception.
First let me say that I am not in any way excusing your wife's affair. That is on her. If she felt she couldn't stay married to you, the honorable thing would be to leave first, not to have an affair.
That said, you seem awfully dismissive of what seem to me to be very legitimate concerns. Not being emotionally supportive of your spouse, especially when she is staying home with them full time (which is often a socially isolating experience) is a big deal. Were you an involved dad?
When you said she could work if she wanted to, did you give her any reason to doubt that you would step up your domestic game to take over half the work?
The fact that she had an affair doesn't remove your responsibility for the kind of husband and father you were.
Now, maybe you feel like her charges are a rewriting of history, but that isn't what it sounds like from your post. Your post made it sound like you just don't think those complaints are serious or important.
If that's the case, I encourage you--for your sake and the sake of any relationships you have in the future--to rethink.
I can agree with both Doodler and Rose. Rose has an awesome perspective and has taught me a lot. Yes, listen and understand your W's points. There will be elements of hard to swallow truths in there as well as some crazy stuff, but don't throw the truth out with the crazy stuff. And when you acknowledge and understand the truth, figure out how you can change to be a better person.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
