Ummmm....girl? You need to figure out what you want.
If you're hanging in there in the hope of ultimately reconciling - you can't keep ignoring his positive attempts.

Remember the dog training adage - ignore the bad behaviors, reward the good ones?

I see three separate attempts in a row on his part to connect with you, and you rejected each one.

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H said none of the gals were sure they were coming. Then he asked if I wanted to go. I said, nah, you go get your guy time. He said he would get it regardless of whether I was there or not. I said, well, it doesn't sound like the gals are even sure they're going. He spewed in a sputtering way. He huffed and said I was difficult to communicate with!


You were not understanding that he WANTED you to be there. In this case you WERE difficult to communicate with. Don't be so dense.

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A few hours later he texted me asking if he can bring me and the kids lunch. I declined but the kids wanted some. When he came home he insisted I eat some, too. Maybe this is how he makes himself feel better for snapping at me?


If he wants to do something for you, LET HIM. Clearly acts of service is one of the love languages he expresses, don't discourage it. (Btw, if he expresses Acts of Service, it usually means that he like to RECEIVE Words of Affirmation. Try to work some positive compliments in there where you can.)

Quote:
Yesterday he came into the kitchen and boisterously said: "boy are YOU a lucky lady." Me (verrrry flat): "oh yeah? Any why is that?" Him: "because I bought you the best Christmas gift." Me: silence.


He's getting you a nice present (or, at least, what HE thinks is a nice present. Hopefully not a rotary phone.) I recommend, if you want to save your marriage, making sure you have a nice present for him also. And whatever he gives you, give him a lot of positive words of affirmation (as in, "oh honey, how did you KNOW that I really wanted my own landline with a hot pink rotary phone?")

Seriously, though - if you're done, then fine. But if you're committed to standing and still hope for reconciliation, you have to stop bashing him every time he makes an attempt, no matter how feeble. Encourage the good behaviors.