I don't know if it's strategic, but I would do it just out of my sense of dignity for myself and for my wife. She is deluded about their relationship, so the more she goes on with it, the more she damages herself and her dignity. Do it just to end this pitiful delusion.
I wouldn't particularly have respect for the guy. If he had any principle, any maturity, any wisdom, he'd tell your wife, Thank you for your attention, I appreciate you as a fan but nothing else, you are married, go be with your husband and children.
Stand tall and be proud of who you are, Lex. Let your strength show to your kids.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
Is it wise to contact the OM in a situation like mine
That depends. Are you going to tell him to stop or kindly ask him in a meek way? And if you tell him, what is the "or else" option?
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Is this a bad idea?
It can be. You need to be prepared for what his response is. You will either be forced to back up your fail safe option or be sent off with your tail tucked.
I talked to my ex's OM. Told him that if I ever saw him near my family I'd break his legs. And I meant it.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
we had a great weekend together. Probably going to have an even better weekend this coming weekend as we go to an indoor water park for xmas. She is still turning away from my kisses but is initiating heavy petting and cuddling with me at night.
bottom line is that I still have no idea if we are coming together or not.
Honestly? This sounds like incredible cake eating to me.
Has she gone back on her 'I want to separate/divorce' stance? If not, then I think youre setting yourself up to be disappointed soon.
Is it wise to contact the OM in a situation like mine.
What exactly would be the point? Your W has some fantasy built up in her mind. Him saying he just 'wants to be friends' isnt going to change anything for her. It's the WAYWARDNESS that needs to change, not the presence of an OM.
Has she gone back on her 'I want to separate/divorce' stance? If not, then I think youre setting yourself up to be disappointed soon.
^What he said.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
What exactly would be the point? ... It's the WAYWARDNESS that needs to change, not the presence of an OM.
I agree that waywardness or whatever you want to call it is the problem and talking to the OM will hardly change that.
But waking her up for a moment from her delusion, I think, is good. She is having a psychotic moment: she has a break from reality. Wake her up. Enough of these, and she might realize she needs help. Not today, not tomorrow but years from now.
And besides, aren't you fn pissed? Are you just going to sit around and wring your hands while your W spends time and money on this guy? I don't encourage or condone violence but I like that Jeep stood up for himself and told the OM to F off.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
What exactly would be the point? ... It's the WAYWARDNESS that needs to change, not the presence of an OM.
But waking her up for a moment from her delusion, I think, is good.
But this isnt going to wake her up, because the OM is a fantasy anyway. In my mind, Lex is already shooting himself in the foot because he knows about all of this but is still proceeding with all of the family + physical stuff as if it isnt going on. In my mind, he's already condoning this kind of behavior. Setting your boundaries on what you will accept is different than controlling others.
Originally Posted By: ForGump
And besides, aren't you fn pissed? Are you just going to sit around and wring your hands while your W spends time and money on this guy? I don't encourage or condone violence but I like that Jeep stood up for himself and told the OM to F off.
Of course Id be mad. Id be mad at W and OM. But thats not a good reason to take any action. What is your (Lex's) goal(s)? Id take my actions to work towards that. Running off and screaming at OM is probably not the way to get there.
Running off and screaming at OM is probably not the way to get there
Agreed. There was no running and screaming on this end, sir. Delivered in a calm voice. But then again, the OM knew I'd do it, to.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I don't think you have recognized that your wife has a serious problem
So, so right. In my case, that wasn't realized until way too late to even begin to right the ship.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
