Not even married a year- hopeless?

[ForGump]

one of this biggest things of hers was that she didn't condone cheating ...

IMHO people who talk the biggest game ... people who take the most vocal, strident positions ... they don't have a firm inner voice, and inner compass. They are so insecure about who they are inside and what they believe that they need yell out their positions, so they can hear themselves talk.

People who are more secure about themselves and their beliefs... they are more comfortable to admit to human frailties, to see gray areas in human relations, and not be threatened by them.

NMC -- yes, my W grew up w/ parents who had anger and self-control problems. She admits she feels emotionally abused by them, yet does not believe she needs treatment. I didn't realize the roots of her emotional problems until years into our marriage.