Last year my wife told me she wanted a divorce and I begged, pleaded with her to make it work. We ended up going to counseling for a few times and she said she loved me again and things were getting better. This was a lie. She kept it up for a year, and around the beginning of this month began a phone relationship with another man. She told me they were just friends, but it was still not right to do. She wanted to file for divorce that week, because she was not attracted to me and didn't want to spend any time with me any more.
Our original problems stemmed from me not making time for her, and not fufilling her emotional needs. I understand that, and I am willing to make myself a better person for myself so she sees that I am a person she could be attracted to.
She started talking to OM as friends and their relationship quickly became more, though she says they have not been physical, I suspect that is a lie but do not want to press the issue yet. The OM was a client of hers at a counseling agency she worked for, though he was in another house than hers. When her employer found out, she lost her job.
I moved out a week and a half ago, and at first she agreed to hold off on divorce and stop talking to OM so we could see about reconnection. We went on a date, and the next day I found out she rented a hotel room 200 miles away with OM and has essentially spent all of her money taking him out because he has no job and lives in a group home for mental issues(not knocking it just stating the fact). He is younger than her, and she has told him she loves him after 3 weeks of talking. She told me she doesn't really love him, but only said it so he would stop telling her so much.(This does seem like my wife, but she may have just been lying to me to let me down easier).
She wants the divorce and me not agreeing is causing her to resent me, she has blocked my phones(both work cell and personal) because of me calling her when I found out about the hotel trip.
I have agreed to go along with her plan for divorce, even though I want very much to save our relationship and marriage, even if it means divorcing to show that I am willing to put her happiness first.
In my personal opinion, she went to this guy because he showed her the attention that I did not and fulfilled that emotional need. I believe that after she loses the house, marriage, her animals(her parents said she could come live with them but not bring her cats). The fog will start to lift on this affair and she will realize he is not for her. She may decide to continue living the single life at this point, or she may begin to think if she really should have divorced me.
I'd like advice on what to do now, since I have already agreed to the divorce and she will not attend counseling or stop seeing OM, since she does not love me and says she is not attracted to me anymore because the love is gone.
Even if we divorce, once that relationship is over, is there any way I can win her back. I'm willing to date her again and truly build a relationship with her, and us trying to see if things would work would not mean we need to remarry right away, or move in right away. Just take things slow. She knows this because I told her when I agreed to the divorce.
