This is my version of a drive by. Can you see me waving? I applaud your musings while moving forward. You're gonna be okay. Really.
BTW, yesterday marked the 14 year anniversary of the bomb for me. I ordered out pizza from a new place in acknowledgment. I had one thought last night that kept me from getting some decent sleep. My XH walked out the door and never looked back. He didn't make any effort to reconcile whatsoever. Yet he has broken up and gotten back together with his GF 3x. Three f*cking times. Okay, so my D22 says this indicates that he's the equivalent of a middle school boy. (That still makes me laugh.) But the underlying feeling I get is "why didn't our marriage vows make you want to do the same for us"? Here I am, navel gazing a twist on the same question 14 years later. That seems totally insane to me.
But I'm feeling differently today, don't ya know. My D22 comes home Friday night for the week, and we're all excited about that. I'd rather focus on how great it will be to have her home than on bomb day anyway.
BTW, earlier in my life I liked guys who were a bit rough around the edges. They were fun and they actually like me (I still seem to have the same pheromones today haha - I think the initial kickoff is my fondness for the F word). But after 6 months or so, I wanted to talk about stuff that was more cerebral. They quickly saw that instead of wanting to be that guy, they dumped me. I figured out in my early 20s that I needed a white collar guy who underneath came from blue collar roots. And I married a guy like that. It dawned on me in my 30s that I actually am attracted to geeks: super smart dudes that don't want the world to know how smart they are. For some reason, that turns ME on. LOL. Now I need to find an adult version of that person who hasn't pickled his liver in the process...
Merry Christmas to all of you!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I had one thought last night that kept me from getting some decent sleep. My XH walked out the door and never looked back. He didn't make any effort to reconcile whatsoever. Yet he has broken up and gotten back together with his GF 3x. Three f*cking times. Okay, so my D22 says this indicates that he's the equivalent of a middle school boy. (That still makes me laugh.) But the underlying feeling I get is "why didn't our marriage vows make you want to do the same for us"? Here I am, navel gazing a twist on the same question 14 years later. That seems totally insane to me.