I know your thread is about to close out ... reading your post about how you did not deal with that anger brought back some memories with me.
I did the exact same thing. When she had that touch and go/brief moment of clarity where I seen a few signs of the old her and we got back together I had thought I dealt with all the anger/issues .... turns out like you I simply boxed em up and put them up on the shelf. The triggers would pop up and I felt cheated ... not so much with the affair and things she said and did ... but more because its like there was a mountain of unspoken things that she did not want to even acknowledge let alone address. This ate at me and was about the time the "Forgiveness" topic went a little wild on my thread.
Do we need someone to ask for forgiveness to forgive them? Can we forgive them though they do not seek it nor do they maybe even deserve it.
Thing is in my case and in yours .... I am not sure they even know at this point the damage they have done, they can not even handle their own chit let alone any of ours ... they are not capable at this point to help heal the hurt they caused.
I think I read that book ... if it was not that one it was 53 others like it, and yeah the international message in all is we forgive for our sake and not theirs. I am still not there yet. ... I am not angry about it but I do think its because I placed all that stuff back in the box and its in storage .. lost and not thought about for now, I may never have to open that box ... or one day I will have to deal with it again who knows.
I think a good number of us want the MLCr to come to us on knees and beg for forgiveness, just does not seem to work that way, they wake very slowly and forget much of what they did. Its like they know they messed up but struggle with where to begin. M I think in time he will come around but I am not sure we ever get that full blown apology.
