This much I know is true

[AndrewP]

As I was browsing through the facebooks today, I came upon a posting that made me very sad. You see, back when I was married, my couple friends, my ex and I used to gather regularly for all sorts of parties or get-togethers usually as a group of 6 or 8. As I posted to AndrewP, this set of friends abandoned me almost immediately after the separation. It was as if they thought that the divorce was contagious, I guess. To be fair, they were introduced to me originally as my ex's friends, so I wouldnt expect them to be 'mine' after the divorce.

Anyway, there was a weekend getaway that these couples did for 4th of July and there were images all over social media that hit me pretty hard. There is another set going on now after this past weekend's festivities in preparation for Christmas. It hurts that I feel like I did nothing wrong to these people, but yet, Im still pushed to the outside looking in. Its just a reminder that I didnt just lose a spouse, I had a complete life overhaul where what I have left from that old life is my family and a few friends.

Im not sure theres much point to this posting, other than just to vent a little bit about being sad. But sometimes just typing things like this out help.

darknes - my old sparring partner - this is a tough time for us all. I'm glad that you felt confident posting this here among friends.

I've been blessed in the fact that many kind people have reached out to me and become friends after W departed. Social media played a big role in that for me. I had reached out to people I liked but didn't know well in a friendly way. Many of these were people who were just acquaintances of W - not close friends. I just got a very nice message from one a few moments ago about something I was helping her with. On Saturday one came by with a tray of Christmas cookies and a big smile for me.

Seeing the joy we once had and that now is lost forever does make things sad indeed. Time travel alas only works in one direction. I often think about how much of my history that I will purge if W indeed never comes home. For now from time to time I look back and remember the joy with yes, a twinge of sadness but still also feel the joy of those good memories.

It feels weird for me to be the one telling you this and perhaps my 2X4 is more a wiffle-bat compared to your's but this is where you need to make your own joy and your own memories and not just with your new partner.

If we don't correspond before and even if we do - have a very Merry Christmas my friend.