Their actions are their choices - as you know - we can only control how we respond but that gives me strength - I recently was in discussion with my W about another friend who was going through a messy D and I said that the WAS actions only reflect themselves - poor choices and behaviour makes them look very poor - I noticed my W changed her behaviour since then and has been more pleasant - doesn't change the sitch but it can affect how she interacts as she sees how it has worked out for our friend.
Not many of us LBS's come to that conclusion only after we've been on this road to hell for quite some time. And many of us beat ourselves up with the "what ifs" - something I'm guilty of myself.
I wonder if that behavior change is window dressing for you...
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2017 - she will announce a date of depearture, tell kids, tell family - she will see that as her time to do as she pleases -
Most definitely living in her own world and on her own path.
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will be stable and focussed and enjoy my life and build it how I want it.....one day at a time. Door will be left open for her to talk etc
Very healthy attitude to have. It will be at a snail's pace, but it will happen. All too often LBS's jump to thinking that they are OK only to have it come crashing down around them. One day at a time. I like that. And it's OK to leave the door open - leaving it open and holding it open for them are two different things. I'm leaving it open for mine, even though I know she won't take it, but it's open nonetheless.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.