I am going to try turning anger into pity ginger. Maybe that will help me. I am still over consummed by anger and I don't know how to handle it cause it's not helpful to me to constantly be mad at my ex. During our marriage I was constantly mad....he was uninvolved and selfish but that anger did nothing to help. Things were unfair and imbalanced in my marriage and I was constantly frusturated and angry because I had a right to be, but it did nothing. My complaining was twisted to be seen as someone unappreciative. My ex was not ever present in our family. I wonder if that's his personality or was it that he just didn't want to be with me?
I am dating someone else now, that wants to spend more time with me but settles for every other weekend. That is really really nice and of course I am making comparisons.... I was showing him some snow toys I bought for my son for Christmas, and he was joking about how he wanted them cause he would have fun playing in the snow.
I remembered how the winter before husband left, he did not once play with my son in the snow, that season. Instead he slept for most of day while son and I would knock on windows from outside to try to wake him up. When he did do something with us, he would end it quickly or start so late. he could only invest a small amount of time before he wanted to leave and run an errand or work,
So It is so true that my life is no different then before. I realized this early on in my situation. Our marriage was me getting angry and fighting with husband because he wasn't invested and committed to being in a family. I see the difference between him and someone that is invested now. I look at how his dad was like thatwith his family and I think my ex wanted that or didn't know better. And I kept trying to fight it.
