Learning, growing and believing....

[mleigh4]

Thanks Bttrfly, I look forward to hearing from you. I feel like I have regressed back a year or two. I let myself get close, let my guard down, and he zapped me.

Back to the episode, I told H I was on the way to drop off S, and to talk about the shooting range. I get there, and say let's talk about this, and he says, no, let's talk about S spending time at your work. I said, what? What does that have to do with the shooting range? He says, you don't care how I feel about him being at your work on his computer, you never care how I feel. The button pushing started, the conversation got twisted into something completely different, and I blew. Then, he said, see! This is why I can't talk to you about anything!

The bashing started, and although it felt really good to get so much off my chest, my guess is it went on deaf ears, the same as his blasting to me. What frustrates me the most is this person he can bring out in me, a person I don't want to be. I have been working hard to change that behavior and out of nowhere she popped out. I am a bit frustrated with the whole thing and having a really hard time shaking it! And now Christmas is in a week and I will be around him. Ggrrr!