Focus on Me and the Boys 10

[J5K]

I hope you realize that may have been her plan all along when you got to Toronto. She is devious, be careful. Keep demonstrating you are a competent and caring single dad and you will be fine. Document

I do realize what her plan was. I led with my heart more than with my head and continued to be hopeful, even just as co-parents.

Reading your exchanges with XW, it does seem like a lot back and forth and I can understand her feelings of annoyance, although I don't agree with her behavior or the way she expresses herself.

Yes, it has been a lot of back and forth. My feelings and emotions had control of my actions. I guess I thought she would be reasonable in the move, it is clear she is still very angry and resentful towards me.

I think it's a good idea to be cautious and stay in the US for now. I don't think she'll get anywhere with stopping you from moving within the state if it's to give the kids better opportunities and better schools and it doesn't add significantly to her travel to pick them up for visitation.
When did you decide to get a new house and change their schools? It seems like a lot of upheaval for them?

I was looking at houses over the last 2 weeks. We are in this little apartment with no room for the boys to release their energy. We still have 85% of our things in storage. As much as I agree that there is a lot of upheaval, the boys are excited to move into a house and go to a school with their cousin. The school district is in the top 10 in the state. It is also a Leader in Me school also which is the same as the school they were in before we left the marital home. XW has no problem changing schools so the boys are in Canada, but has issues now, such a double standard.

IMHO, you have let your hopes of reconciling be the deciding factor since the day both of you left D court. As I recall, she immediately sent you a message, and you were posting here about R before the ink got dry on the D paper. If there was ever a case where love was blind.........it had to be with you. In spite of her terrible behavior, you would have R that night, if she would have agreed. I don't know if things will be better for you with letting go of hoping for a R, but somehow, I kind of think it will. I don't mean better with her.....but just better for you. I think you probably got her best years, before she wanted to adopt a housefull of children.

Sandi,

As I stated in one of my first few threads, I waited a long time for a good person. For a person who I thought was better than me. At the time she was, not sure if I did get her best years. I do feel the R and M was very one sided. I reflect back and see where I missed a lot of the signs of an unhealthy R.

Jim, you are one of those DB members that everyone cares about......and like. I think every woman that has followed your threads admire you, and I'm sure the men respect how you have taken care of those five little boys, while having so much on your plate. I don't even know why I am rambling on with all of this, I just wanted to say how I wish we could help more. It means a lot that you take the time to keep us updated.

Thank you for the compliment. I am very blessed to have the support of this community and will never forget all those that have knocked me upside the head with a 2x4 when needed, which was a lot! I have no doubt that every person here would have given up some of their time to help support me if they were physically present where I live.

I still have a long way to go with DB. Not because I want to reconcile with XW, not because I want to be a good co-parent. I need to continue down this path to be the best person I can for myself and the boys. If another woman or XW wants to be part of it, it is a bonus for the boys and me.

There is still much that needs to settle down between XW and I. Not sure how long that will take. I just know I will try and do my best to keep the drama at bay and ensure the boys live a healthy and happy life no matter where we live.