But I feel so low and destroyed by what happened, I just feel like giving up
It's normal to feel that way, even though we don't want to and try our best to figure out a way to climb out of that pit. You are doing the right thing, my friend, by coming here. This place has some of the best people who are willing to go above and beyond to help.
When I was snooping after my ex's almost year long PA went public, I found other evidence dating back to 2010. Note that we were married in 2008. Two other EAs - not sure if they went PA, but they could have when she traveled for work - with ex bf's. Nothing like coming across an old phone and finding messages/VMs that weren't erased. I didn't even bother confronting because I thought "what's the point?"
It's been almost 2 years since the BD was dropped and 1 year since I got proof of the PA - which, coincidentally, started BEFORE the BD. What has helped me? Time. And my kids. That's it. If you don't already have one, see an IC. I did - one who was our MC - and it helped me tremendously.
People talk on here of GAL - which seems like the furthest thing from your mind now, but trust me - it works. As hard as it is, it works.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Tough day yesterday, found out she had sex with OM2, W said it was over in secs and didn't count it as sex!
2016 a year that keeps getting better.
Didn't count as sex? Wow, that's a new one. Why did she tell you about it?
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Told her I wanted her to do a polygraph as I wasn't sure she was telling the truth.
I said if it wasn't sex, what was it, she could'nt answer so other then to say it was a fumble, I said did he penetrate you, she said yes, and then we both agreed it was classed as sex.
Not sure what to believe now.
Me: 40 W: 36 T21 M17 S12 D10 D10 ILYBNILWY EA happened. PA happened. June 2016 trying to piece our M and life's back together...
Have you read bluewave's thread? I think she can provdide some good insight for you.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Start to feel like I'm done, that what has happened is a deal breaker for me!
1 affair I feel I can move on from, but multiple cheating with different men, I feel like I'm never going to get to the truth, their will always be a doubt in my mind that there is something else or someone else.
It feels unfair that I'm the one who has to make the decision to call time on a marriage of 17 years and 3 children, unfair that I've been put in this position.
Me: 40 W: 36 T21 M17 S12 D10 D10 ILYBNILWY EA happened. PA happened. June 2016 trying to piece our M and life's back together...
Did somethjng additional happen to put you over the edge?
Do the kids know what is going on?
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
blueboy- My heart breaks for you. This is so unfair on you. To be honest, I don't know how you found the strength to continue on for so long. How have you found the strength so far? Is it because of your children?
She has no respect for you. Cheating on you with multiple partners, your marriage vows meant nothing to her. I'm sure there is a lot more that you don't know about either. Having lied to you so much, how can you trust that's she's being honest with you now? She's not even being honest about what happened in these affairs. How can you ever trust her again?
I think you are brave and have a good heart, but you deserve respect. At the very least, this is a total lack of respect for you, your children, and your marriage.
I really hope you can find some peace in your heart that will help you decide which direction to take. Life is too short and precious to waste it on people who hurt you. Focus on your happiness and the happiness of your children and perhaps you will find the courage to move forward, whichever step you decide to take.
