Hi, thank you for your kind words. How did you manage to get Rain's number? Give her my regards. I'm sad about Shotgun as I don't know what happened. I tried to post on his thread but for some reason I can't. If he reads me I often think about him and hope he is well.
Thank you fir your good wishes for next year although finding a man isn't on the cards. I went on few dates, so I know I'm not that unattractive, but it never goes to a second date. I'm just realising that my ex's affair with OW has impacted me more than I think it had. I can tell I'm deeply scared by what happened and I'm in the process of rebuilding myself. Although it is taking me longer than I thought.
At the moment I'm trying to be upbeat as much as I can for my kids, but this year I hate Xmas. Last year I was still hoping ex would realised what a catch I am, but this year it has really sunk in that it's over. He gave me the go ahead to close our joint account, so apart from kids what is left between us is that piece of paper called marriage. Truthfully I think I'll get the papers next year as it will be two years separation and it will be cheaper to fill. Honestly I don't think I can forgive not forget what he has done. I wouldn't be able to trust him and so far I haven't seen any changes in his actions (as I haven't seen him physically for about 3 months now). So I guess I'll not be a success in saving my marriage but I'm already a success as I thought I would be dead (figure of speech) but I'm still standing up and gradually appreciating what life has offered me. Yes I am more grateful and I wish I had been able to do that while I was with ex but I didn't have the tools nor was I able to implement them. Now I consider myself a proper grown up but this growth has cost me my marriage.
I'm scared to be on my own for the rest of my life but if I don't do the work now I'll end up in another unhealthy relationship, and I don't want that.
