It's now been a year since BD, nothing really has changed with W. Contact has been very limited, well as much as I can. The past week W started contacting me almost every day, even started calling. She keeps telling me all these things she is doing and learning about how to work things after a separation, like she is looking for thanks for taking the family apart. Maybe if she had of done half of this work towards a relationship, maybe we could have been better....
With me.... Living life for the most part happy and well. Have moments but definitely much further apart. Enjoy my kids when I have them and heading out with different friends when the kids are not with me. Work is very busy but very frustrating, has been a difficult week keeping focused.
I have been ready to make the move to file, told W that I considered this week as a year of separation so she could start the process. She told me that something needs to be done first before we file and she has been working on that for over a month.... Some things don't change... I just don't see any chance that she will look at herself and own her part, she has rarely done so in the past.
Slightly annoyed with myself that she managed to get a reaction from me last night though, had been doing so well for months. Today it looks like she blocked me from texting her as I had replied to her about the Christmas kid plans....
I originally came to this board hoping to find a way to save my marriage, now I find myself regularly thinking that I don't even want to see or talk to W anymore. There is just no talking with her, she wants to be listened to but doesn't want to listen in return... Something I have learnt and opened my eyes to is that this is how she has always been and I just don't want that anymore.
