He did not answer you? I do think the fact that he chose to keep her in his life and not tell you speaks volumes. More than volumes. The thing is - as with me and mine - how do we believe?
No answer yet. I got a good morning text this morning and silence. It's been 24 hours since I put all that out there. We'll see.
Originally Posted By: Jeep74
One of my biggest stumbling blocks is just how does one trust again? You know how they say on here that never trust what they say? Well, that's true. And even what you see has to be questioned. Mine straight up lied in MC about the OM and never batted an eye. Part of me will always keep that door open to some extent, but there is also part of me that asks, over and over, how can she be trusted? I can't unsee what I've seen, or un-read what I've read, or un-hear what I heard. And that's hard. Very hard.
So, honestly I don't how to answer how you should believe him. Some say transparency, but even that can be not so transparent with burner phones, emails, etc. I know I may sound a little jaded, it's because I guess I am a little. She destroyed my trust. But it can be done. I just don't know how.
It's very difficult. I have not been able to trust him 100% since these things have happened. I feel like something comes up again and again every few months. The most recent thing being this party he is deciding to go to without me because she will be there. Absolutely nuts.
I think you just have to make a decision to trust again and maybe it will happen over time? I have no idea. You would have to be ok with putting yourself out there again to possibly be taken advantage of again. I don't know how people move past lies, especially when there's infidelity. I've not had any evidence for a PA, but who knows.
I honestly don't know what it takes to be the kind of person who forgives and perseveres.
When I sit and think about everything, all these other problems that came about after I confronted him about his ex, I feel like I was being punished for it. And I feel like I deserve more.
I'm hurt and angry but trying not to let these feelings consume me. I'm trying to take care of myself.
