Not even married a year- hopeless?

[Dawgs]

I invited him over the have the conversation yesterday afternoon. He sat and listened. I told him exactly how I felt. I said there cannot be any contact with that woman. This must be agreed upon before we can tackle any of our other problems. I don't know what he will come back to me and say. I think about his responses. If he agrees to cut this woman out, would I believe him? He's made promises before and broke them when it has come to her. Is it time for me to just say he had 4.5 years to sort this out and the fact that he doesn't (and seems to choose to keep her in his life despite how I feel) speaks volumes. Why should I settle for this? If I don't have exes hanging around, I deserve to be with someone who believes the same!

He did not answer you? I do think the fact that he chose to keep her in his life and not tell you speaks volumes. More than volumes. The thing is - as with me and mine - how do we believe?

One of my biggest stumbling blocks is just how does one trust again? You know how they say on here that never trust what they say? Well, that's true. And even what you see has to be questioned. Mine straight up lied in MC about the OM and never batted an eye. Part of me will always keep that door open to some extent, but there is also part of me that asks, over and over, how can she be trusted? I can't unsee what I've seen, or un-read what I've read, or un-hear what I heard. And that's hard. Very hard.

So, honestly I don't how to answer how you should believe him. Some say transparency, but even that can be not so transparent with burner phones, emails, etc. I know I may sound a little jaded, it's because I guess I am a little. She destroyed my trust. But it can be done. I just don't know how.