You should be all good now! If you would like, I'll be happy to delete the postings where we were discussing the name of the other poster, etc. or I can just leave those postings here, which drive up your posting/reply count....your call.
I don't mind if you leave the postings here. Like you say they increase my post count.
I'm not sure if I mentioned that D is actually H SD but he has raised her with me since she was four, to her he is her dad.
It was GS first birthday yesterday and H hasn't seen him since he was three months. Looking back he actively did not bond with him.
He was very close to GD and was Papa to her. He hasn't seen her since March either. A card has just come through the mail for GS from him. I had already included Papa on my card.
This card was just signed H. No Grand Son on the cover......no Papa.
D is heartbroken. She feels he has regected the children and especially GS. I've tried to explain that to sign it Papa would bring reality back which he doesn't want right now.
Am I correct? It's really upset us. She would have rathered he not send a card at all.
When they are in MLC, they become someone very different from the person we knew. The card is a prime example of that. He doesn't want to be reminded of the past and his old life, so he won't sign it the way he normally would. In fact, you may notice this more often as time rolls along. It's nothing personal towards you or your family...it's just him and how he's dealing w/himself.
BTW, at least he sent a card...many of them don't.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I've had some more thoughts on this. I think the card was more for D than for GS.
That's what I'm telling her. I think/ hope he is letting her know that he hasn't forgotten his Birthday and as he's thinking about her just signed it Steve. That's what she calls him, she calls her biological father dad.
After all, he hasn't been Papa for this little boy and (in his mind) may, just may have thought it would be a bit of a cheek if he did. He knows I would have sorted a card and present out as I did with GD in April.
She is the last person he would intentionally hurt, he's closer to her than to his biological sons.
I'm trying to look at the positive in this and think, like you.....at least he did send a card.
I just want to share this for me in the future and for anyone who reads my story.
I'm not religious at all. But, I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason.
I am getting quite obsessed with the new series of Westworld. I'm quite possessive of it. It's the first thing I've watched in nearly thirty years without H. It's all about discovering not only who but what you are.
I've realised that because I was with him so long.........I have never discovered me. Until now and I still am.
Why did this series appear this year and not last year or next? Because everything happens for a reason.
And I now realise what this community here is all about. It doesn't matter whether you or I get back with our WAS.........that's by and by.
What matters is we discover ourselves and what WE are.
Westo, I totally agree with you! I am still rather new at this as BD was 10/1, but being that this is my 2nd M and the first involved my S when he was 1, I know that we will find ourselves and we will find happiness. I am still holding the rope that my WS will get through MLC and we can work it out, but I am not living for that. I have the whole world to discover and you know what I've found.....I like the freedom I have right now to do as I please without anyone else's in put. I like the fact that out of all of these crazy stories, there is a great collection of LBS that will make even better partners for someone out there...even someone other than their WAS/WS.
So we sit in a pretty good place, when we decide to move forward and live our lives for ourselves. So embrace your freedom, know that out there is someone who will love you more and will make you their first choice and you will love yourself even more.
And you know what.....maybe your H will see what's happening and respond, but either way, you will get to chose what you want!
M52 W52 M17 T20 SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own BD 10/01/16 Trial Sep 12/01/16
Westo, Yes I have watched it and I agree with your sentiments about it. My WS has changed a lot since I did a 180 and stopped any pressure around our relationship. I know that this seems hard, but you will see a difference in them and especially you!
Hang tough, love yourself and this will all workout!
M52 W52 M17 T20 SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own BD 10/01/16 Trial Sep 12/01/16
Well, H text D today asking if she had had the car fixed and if she needed any money.
He knows darn well she's had it fixed SS would have told him. She said it had and thanks but no she didn't need any money.
He then asked how she was paying for it and she replied that she was paying her Nana (my mum) back in January.
He answered that if she was in a "pickle" and needed any, just to ask. She again thanked him but said no.
She told me she doesn't want him to use her to appease any of his guilt. The car would have been something he would have taken care of if he'd been here.
Guess the guilt is starting to rear its head.
Last edited by job; 12/16/1611:47 AM. Reason: edited a word for poster
