Be aware a boundary is a boundary because it is something you state a consequence to first, so if you x then I will y is a boundary, if you just do action y then there is no chance that the other will modify in respect to you.
An action alone is not a boundary and can be seen as controlling and rather random.
So you text OM or OW and now I am puthing your phone in a bucket of water is both controlling and abusive.
If you text OW or OM in my presence then I will request your mobile bill be paid from your account, I will stop the DD on mine.
I refused to top up her phone when she requested last week - said I couldn't while she was contacting OM. I had cancelled the auto-pay on it earlier that week.
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This allows behaviour to modify and states what you will do if it doesn't. It is under your control and it is your action.
And if WW has a bad back and needs to sleep in an uncomfortable bed her choice. You stay in the MBR.
Just re-reading this. I am planning to go back in MBR on Saturday as D has friend staying over, so would not be in her room. WW is out with friends until approx 11pm anyway. As you say, her choice as to whether she chooses MBR or spare room.
I have made it abundantly clear that I will not go back into spare room, and I am determined to no longer be guilted by her.
Last edited by Cadet; 12/16/1609:21 AM. Reason: fix quote and link
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
