Cheated and need advice

[Jug]

Sandi would be the best to answer this but I think those rules don't apply to your situation. I'd read her whole situation from the start. Giving your h space and trying to meet his needs seems like the best you can do. I have been and am mad, sad, and depressed like your h and definitely sympathize with him. I just wish my ww was trying anything. Make a plan and present it to him. Make real changes to your life and show them.

Thank you for all the info. About Sandi's rules, I'm kind of confused. A lot of them talk about GAL and acting "normal" again, not pursuing my spouse...etc. However, I really don't feel my H responds to those the same way. I know that if I act normal around the house, he'll take it as if I've already forgotten what I've done and don't care about it. He repeatedly tells me that I'll be back to my old self in a couple of weeks, such as asking him what about what he wants for dinner...etc. I really think he'd prefer I walk around like a dog with my tail between my legs because it shows I'm actually thinking about what I've done. For example, I got a strong craving for Taco Bell the other day and said it out loud. His response was "glad you can think about food after all of this" (sarcastically of course.) Honestly, I really don't know if acting "normal" is going to help, only hurt worse. And going out and getting a life is not an option at this point. I'm already desperate trying to prove to him that any second I'm at work, I'm actually at work and not out with this guy. I almost had a heart attack yesterday when traffic was extra bad causing me to be home 15 minutes later than my normal time. I may be off here, but is it possible, some are different? I want to do things the right way, but so far to me, things like begging and moping and not having a life are what he wants to see right now. I'm a little confused by him. He keeps saying that I'll just do it again or that in one week I'll be back with this guy (which is why I'm so desperate to prove to him that I want nothing to do with this guy). Then he'll say he will never be able to forget this so there's no point in me trying to do anything...just do whatever I want. I don't know. Just so confused.