He literally hates me, calls me scum, won't let me talk to him bc he doesn't want to hear my voice. I want to fight for him and prove it.
So I'd say right now, youre better off giving space. You say you want to fight, but think of it like being in quicksand. Right now, thrashing around too much will only make you sink faster. Please back way off. As you can see, he doesnt believe anything you do or say anyway, so all you are doing is pushing him away faster.
Originally Posted By: pitiful
The second we got home yesterday, he moved all of his stuff to another bedroom and took the doorknob off my door. He had "given" me my phone back and I never took it anywhere in private.
I was talking to her when he came back in and he flipped....I mean flipped out and grabbed the phone from me. I tried to tell him it was just my mom and he said he didn't care that I'm not allowed to use the phone now unless I ask him.
I try not to get angry when his anger turns to cruelty and calling me all kinds of names, not that its right for him to do that, but its not going to help fighting about that.
That said, why are you allowing yourself to be treated like this? You arent a prisoner or a slave or a child. If he wants to be divorced, then why is it his business what you are doing or saying. If he doesnt want to be divorced, then you dont deserve to be treated like this. Agree to transparency - youre on the same bill, he can check your phone or email, he has all of the passwords, etc. But I dont think removing your doorknob or confiscating your phone are effective solutions. Letting him do 'anything' he wants right now is demeaning and rude.
In my mind, dont set yourself up as a slave. You made a mistake. Your focus should not be on convincing him that it wont happen again. Your job should be on figuring out why and happened and what you can do within yourself so that it wont happen again. Its up to H whether he wants to believe that.
