I have to agree with Jeep and ForGump. I will go even further and say that I would not be surprised that your marriage began under false pretenses. Not on your part, but that of your H. I suspect he either M you in order to punish his ex, apply emotional pressure to his ex, or in order to get over his ex......and now he is miserable. Did he ever tell you why he broke up with her? Do they have a child together?
His actions strongly hint he is not a man of integrity. Anytime a man or woman continues a so-called friendship with an ex-fiancé while entering a new relationship with another person........ red flags are waving high. I am not referring to a polite hello, if unexpectantly running in to the ex. I mean where they continue contacting each other frequently. It is especially serious and extremely questionable when those messages become secretive. Forget transparency with their messaging.........they should have no contact whatsoever.
Another big flag wave is him not wanting to engage in having sex with you, and his reaction to you trying to touch him. Did he have any issues before the past 6 months, like ED, or something else?
Does his family live near? Do you know very much about his childhood and school years?
I am so sorry you are in this situation. I hope you will not try to get pregnant, thinking that will change him. It only makes things worse.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
