I filed - Anxious to get it over

[fightin]

I did great, thank you xanax! My STBXW on the other hand seemed rather irritated the entire time and even got mad that while we were reading through the paperwork my phone went off several times with messages. Not sure why she cared honestly, we had both already read through it once, she was just skimming it again, but she said in a hateful tone "Gosh dang, you're an important person now huh?". I just ignored her comment.

I honestly felt so relieved and empowered that I had filed and we both have now signed off on it. She won't be showing up to court and I told her that was perfectly fine with me. Of course I still love her, but if she has no interest in being my wife then I am willing to move without her. If she changes her mind at some point then hopefully I'll still be willing to reconcile at that point.

I know I can't mind read, but part of me wonders if she's so irritated right now bcecuase I have completely cut her out of my life. I don't need her to see my SS and I've made it clear I don't want to be friends either. I guess it doesn't matter, but overall I feel good about having some closure so I can start to truly let go and move forward. It wasn't what I wanted, but I'm definitely looking forward to new beginngs and my continued work on myself.

I get to see my SS on Christmas Eve and I'll be at his dad's when my STBXW drops him off so we shall see how that goes. Hopefully she doesn't make a scene.