Lost in the MLC Desert

[d_Rose]

Yes bttyfly. Makes perfect sense.

I need to discount any future with him and focus on myself. That is definitely part of my problem. I am trying to frame my actions in relation to what gives us the best chance of saving the marriage and keeping him close. I need to constantly remind myself that chances are slim. Instead I need to frame my actions around what I need to be emotionally healthy. Like you said, what is good for me. It is a struggle everyday to remember this.

Also, what short term immediately feels good (to see him and have contact) is ultimately not good for me. As it leaves me empty and more sad when he leaves. I am emotionally addicted to our relationship. It is so difficult to undo 26 years of emotional closeness.

I know only I can do this and set the boundary. I have the power here. It feels like I am cutting off my own legs. But if they are cancerous they must go...

Planning to do some shopping today with my mom. My daughter is home from college and S24 and his wife will be here next week. It will be nice to be surrounded by family and have a bit of normalcy. Will be weird with H not here, but glad to have all the kids home.

Proud Mom bragging moment - D19 got 2 A's, 2 A-'s, and 1 A+ her first semester. Her load included biology, chem, and statistics. She is a smart girl. I knew she was capable, but wasn't sure if she would put in the work in an unsupervised environment. So proud she rose to the occasion. She thinks she wants to go to med school. Not sure she will be able to work that hard for that long to make it happen, but glad she is working toward it for now. S24 Graduated from West Point, and is currently in Med School, so at least she has an intimate knowledge of what it takes!

Happy Thursday.